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The ascent

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 I was nineteen, oh what an age! 


Soon college would begin. I was ensconced in a chair on the rooftop. The late spring afternoon had a fierce glow, which we called 'loo' in the local vernacular. A kite encircled a distant carrion in the azure sky. The kite was intent on the present, and I was thinking about the future that beckoned.


Doubts nagged my conscience. Uncertainties clouded my sky. My failures haunted my present. Will I ever be good enough?


Suddenly I lost the train of my thoughts. For a few moments I could not comprehend what my eyes recorded. A single thought overran everything else: who was I?


After I regained myself from this brief escape, the kite's repartee with the descending sun seemed far away. The hot cemented rooftop seemed aloof. The searing, barren air seemed powerless. I felt a stark confidence coming to my rescue like an old friend.


A tremendous calm had filled my being. After a very long time, I felt lucid. I realized the immense capacity for joy that I had. That I was born with, but had lost in the daily travails of a soulless life. 


I felt capable of anything and everything. For the first time, I understood who I was. And who I was not. And most importantly who I wanted to be. My hill was within me. All I had to do was ascend it.


I looked up at the cloudless sky. The kite was closing down on her prey. The wind whispered war cries. It was a perfect present, a moment with no connection to the past or the future. This was how I must live.


It was a revelation that I still live by today. It was a moment of bliss that can only come with truly turning the page on your day. No matter where I am, I am aware of who I am not. My hills have grown, I have faced setbacks, but my ascent still goes on.
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Location: India

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